This is a joke, right?

Date: 11 Feb. 2007
Time: 8:24pm
Location: Lusaka, Zambia
Scene: Taxi headed to a friend's house
Soundtrack in the taxi: Dolly Parton, one of the driver's favorite muscians...

Seriously, you just can't make this stuff up.

Did that really just happen?!

I feel like I am constantly thinking that to myself here..."Did that really just happen??!" and today was no different.

So, its close to lunchtime and I'm just sitting at my desk when a girl walks into the office. I ask her how I can help her and she proceeds to tell me that she wants to know the status of a defilement case that we are currently prosecuting. I begin to ask her who she is and her relationship to the case and conversation proceeds as follows:

Me: Are you related to someone involved in the case?

Girl: Yes.

Me: Okay...are you related to one of the girls who was defiled?

Girl: No.

Me: So...who exactly do you know who is involved in the case?

Girl: Umm...well, my uncle is the accused.

Me: (shocked, but trying not to look so) Oh. Okay. Um...hold on just a second. Take a seat.


I go and tell the lawyers what's going on and they're all as shocked as I am. I go back out and tell the girl that we are unable to give her information about a case we are prosecuting and if she wants to know the status of the case she should ask her uncle. She says that she understands and then hands me a letter to give to our director. Thinking the envelop contains a letter pleading with us not to take throw her dirty uncle in jail, I take the letter to Pamela. She opens it and begins to laugh. I take the letter from her hands and look at the top, which reads: "Application for Internship."

Are you serious? Did that really just happen??? How do you say "Conflict of Interest" in Nyanja?

I love this!

Here's an interesting picture that I saw in The Post, a local Zambian newpaper. I wish I saw more men around here with children strapped to their backs, carrying large quantities of produce on their heads while making nshima, rather than sitting around, drinking Mosi's all day while they watch the women do all the work...

The caption reads: Gender balance seems to be gaining ground in Zambia; a male, George, a compound resident, carrying a baby on his back, a role traditionally reserved for women.

i'm still alive...

I know its been a REALLY long time since my last update, but the last few months (especially November) were really insane. So, here's a recap for all of you I haven't filled in:

November
Well, it began like any other month but quickly took an unexpected turn. My boss, Colonel Mudenda, suddenly got really ill and was hospitalized in Lusaka for about a week. And let me just tell you, medical care here is seriously subpar. Basically the only thing they really know how to treat here is malaria, so they pumped him full of quinine even though ALL of the malaria smears they gave him kept coming back negative. He was rarely being attended to by a doctor or a nurse, wasn't being fed fluids or food, and was rarely conscious. It was really scary. So, after about 6 days of no improvement, Stacey and I began working on getting him air-ambulanced out of Zambia to South Africa where medical care is far superior to that of Zambia. So, on Tuesday, Nov. 21st just before midnight, Colonel arrive in Milpark Hospital in Johannesburg, South Africa and the following day I was on the first plane down to Joburg to help coordinate his treatment/payment of the bills for IJM until the Regional Director arrive. So, my first trip to South Africa was basically spent entirely in a hospital. Sad, but true.

Colonel was in the ICU in SA for about a month and was just recently moved. There is still no conclusive diagnosis and he still is not speaking or spending most of the day awake. Aparently he has suffered serious damage to his frontal lobe. We have no idea when he'll be returning to Zambia. It's been a rough few months without him.

But what was really scary was that about three days after I got back from Joburg, one of my other co-workers, Helen, wasn't feeling well and so she stayed home from work on Friday. That afternoon we got a call that she had died. The entire office was in shock. Stacey and I started to freak out. We went to the clinic directly after work to get tested for malaria and meningitis and anything else that we would think of and pronounce. Don't worry, we were perfectly fine...just a little paranoid. We spent all day the following Sunday at Helen's funeral. It's a cultural experience I hope I never have to go through again. It made me realize just how familiar the people here are with death. At the grave site...a place that was just acre after acre of unmarked graces...mourners would just sit on top of the graves while the pastor gave the eulogy. It was sad and disturbing to say the least.

December
With Colonel out of the office, a lot of things came to a standstill. But, it was a short month because the holiday season so we spent most of the time tying up loose ends and getting things in order for end of the year reporting. For Christmas, my Dad came to visit. We spent the days before Christmas around Lusaka visiting with a lot of the people I've met here and seeing the city. The day after Christmas, we took the bus down to Livingstone and saw Victoria Falls. Then the next day, we went to Chobe National Park in Botswana and went camping. Yes, I went camping and I have pictures to prove it. But it was worth it to see all of the cool stuff. We saw all types of elephants, include two female lions and their cubs stalking an impala. Unfortunately, they didn't get the impala, but it was still pretty cool. I would promise to put pictures up on the web but you know how bad I am at follow through with that stuff.

It definitely didn't feel like Christmas and now it really doesn't feel like the New Year, probably because of the weather.

January
Well, the countdowns can now begin...I only have 14 weeks before April 10th when I fly home. For the rest of my time here I'll be working on two main projects: developing a program for teaching kids about sexual violence in school and youth programs; and establishing the foundations for an aftercare program for our former clients. It should be fun and interesting.

Well, I think that's all for now. Time to hit the sack...tomorrows the beginning of another work week. Email me and let me know what's going on with you all, especially those of you who went to Urbana. I'd love to hear from you!

Compliments of the Season (as they say here)!

A long over due update

I know it’s been a while since I’ve written a nice long update, but I figured as now was as good a time as any, especially since our internet is down and I basically can’t do any work today I thought I’d send you all a little email.

Well the last few months have been crazy busy. I’m feeling pretty comfortable here, so there doesn’t seem like there is too much to update people on. Here are some of the things that have happened (in no particular order):

• 1 new roommate – Her name is Stacey. She’s from North Carolina, 26, worked in DC for a few years after college, and we’re getting along really well.

• Holiday Inn – who new the Holiday Inn could be upscale??? Well here in Zambia, the Holiday Inn is a pretty swanky place that a lot of business people stay at. Stacey and I have become great friends with the general manager and his wife and he has graciously allowed us to use the hotel’s pool whenever we want and has offered us a standing invitation to the Wednesday night business cocktail hour. It’s a great time to meet people from all over the world and I often find myself interacting with people I never thought I would meet. Just the other night I found myself at a dinner party with 2 South Africans (the ones who manage the Holiday Inn), the Ambassador to the Irish embassy in Zambia, a Danish man here on business, a Venezuelan here doing business research, and a middle-aged southern man from Georgia here establishing a water purification company discussing racism and politics in post-apartheid South Africa. To say it was interesting would be an understatement.

• HOT! – It is unbelievably hot here. Sometimes I feel like my face is going to melt off. But praise be to God who never gives us more than we can handle. About two weeks ago we got an air conditioner installed in our office to keep the new computers from melting. This of course has the added benefit from keeping me from dieing of hear exhaustion and getting super cranky when it’s almost 100 degrees in the office.

• Cool stuff at work – the last few months have also produced a few cool happenings at work too. The most notable is that our office here was able to assist in the arrest of a pastor and owner of a local orphanage who was suspected of molesting and raping at least 5 young girls. We were able to secure the appropriate testimony and evidence from the girls to have him arrested and removed from the orphanage. He is now on trial and we are anxiously awaiting his conviction. We’ve been able to gain a lot of credibility and publicity because of the success we’ve had in securing the perpetrators arrest and have since received a number of statutory rape referrals, including the rape of a 2 year old girl. Although it is extremely disturbing to hear of these cases, I’m really glad that we are able to intervene and advocate on behalf of these young victims.

• Fun Trip – this weekend Stacey, my friends Helen (from the UK) and Ingo (from Namibia), and I drove down to the Kariba Dam in the Southern Province and spent the day sweating in the hot hot hot sun and taking in the beautiful scenery. It was over 100 degrees down there but we had a great time getting harassed and almost shot by the check point police for taking pictures, buying some crazy straw hats, almost hitting a guinea foul who decided to cross the road at the last minute, swimming in the pool at one of the local lodges, and using our drivers licenses and business cards to get across the border into Zimbabwe. It was a fun little road time. It was so hazy that we could barely see the other side of the lake…if I didn’t focus my eyes too hard it was almost like I wasn’t in a landlocked country. I’ll try to put up some picks on my blog sometime soon.

• Zambian Immigration – basically is the bane of my existence. Go to http://yourmominzambia.blogspot.com to read Stacey’s wonderful rants about how corrupt, inefficient, and archaic the entire system is. They made Stacey cry and almost made me loose my religion a few times. It’s been two weeks and my Temporary Permit still hasn’t been renewed yet…let’s pray I don’t get deported.

Well, I think that’s all I have for you all now. Remember, you can check my blog at http://courtneyconner.blogspot.com for mini updates and fun things. Let me know what’s going on in your lives.

Update on Mary...

A little while back I wrote about Mary, a former IJM client who’s property was restored. Well, Mary has been doing amazing! She has now opened two market stalls, bought a deep freezer to expand her business, and purchased some building materials to renovate her home. This week, Mary was able to attended a training session held at our office so that she can now advocate in her community and assist others who have been in her position by referring them to IJM. It’s been so exciting to she how much progress she has made and the ways she is improving her life and that of her family.

V. Monologues

Believe it or not, last night I saw the Vagina Monologues…in ZAMBIA!!!! I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it for myself. In a country where we have a difficult time even scheduling workshops to teach people about gender-based and sexual violence because of the stigma that revolves discussing such issues, I was shocked to learn that the Monologues were coming to Lusaka for the second year in a row. Not only was the show sold out, but in typical Zambian style, it was very interactive…with people talking back to the characters during their monologues. To say it was interesting would be an understatement. After seeing the Monologues, I can’t wait to see the Madonna tribute concert later this month!

actual names of people in Zambia...

In Zambia, people, especially in the rural areas, will name their kids based on the objects or circumstances surrounding their birth. To say the least, this can lead to some bizarre names. Here are a few of my favorite:

- Hatred
- Shoe
- Neveragain
- Jealousy
- Tire
- Sock
- Hat
- Trouble
- Petrol
- Anger
- Advice
- Diesel
- Funny
- Madeinusa (= Made In the U.S.A.)...this is not a joke people!

I suspect that years of therapy will be needed for some of these people.